"I regret that she died young, and that her death caused you pain. I regret that, due to Van Helsing's incompetency, I was obliged to turn her into a vampire."
"This is, in my house, how things have been divided: I am in charge of the children. For fifty dollars, my husband could not give you the name and address of our children's pediatrician."
"I usually don't mind going to Principal Baloney's office. There's always a blue bowl of sugar-free candy on a little table covered with smiling-kid magazines."